मेरी आवाज़ ही पहचान है. (अ) गर याद रहे “What is my Identity?

“मेरी आवाज़ ही पहचान है”. (My voice is my Identity.) I was listening to Gulzar last night. This lines stuck in my mind. What is my “पहचान” identity ?  Again and again, I keep thinking on this what is my “पहचान” (Identity)? However in the movie this song was written in a different context

What is  identity? Dictionary meaning of Identity is the fact of being who the person is?  Or in Freudian world: It is something we want to show it to others OR it is something we don’t want to show it to others. Mystics says it is something beyond that.

Some people are lucky enough to find that uniqueness.  They live in to that personality structure constantly trying to achieve excellence in it Or constantly trying to get approval for it.

Here Gulzar says : Identity is beyond name, beyond face but it is subject to someone’s memory or someone’s approval (गर याद रहे… If you remember)

Is it true? What we are is what approved by others OR something beyond it ??

Your view please.

दिल की आवाज़ भी सुन (Listen to the heart)

“An old grandfather of ninety was busy planting an almond tree.

‘What, grandfather!’  (Zorba) exclaimed.

‘Planting an almond tree?’ And he bent as he was, turned around and said: ‘My son, I carry on as if I should never die.’

 (Zorba) replied: ‘And I carry on as if I was going to die any minute.’


Which of us was right, boss?”

A dialogue from “Zorba – the Greek”

Who is right “Zorba” or the old man?

Midlife started, every birthday come up with this dilemma. I use to make & break resolutions. This birthday my dilemma was “Are my days over or my days will come?” But the fact is nighter my days are over nor will my days come.  Whatever it is, it is here & now. Live here and now. Just listen to your heart. दिल की आवाज़ भी सुन

The question is how I am going to live this resolution. I am not sure.  “Zorba” is helping me again “I should reconcile at last within me the two internal antagonists.”  Ha ha ha  … What a freedom!! What a Liberation!

I wanted to write so much before I started writing this article. All of sudden, eureka moment happen. No words left. Nothing to write now. I started this article with the framed structure of beginning. middle and end but now nothing is needed. Let me finish it here with another Zorba quote.

“All those who actually live the mysteries of life haven’t the time to write, and all those who have the time don’t live them! D’you see?”  Zorba the Greek

Please comment: Who is right “Zorba” or the old man?

Desis – A Survival Psychology

Amid the air of demonetization, I heard one phrase so often from my friends that “ ”Desis” kabhi nahi sudharenge (”Desis”  will never change) ? Aur kala dhan fir aa jayega (We generate black money again) ? “”Desis”  ko koi nahi pakad sakta (”Desis” are too cunning to be caught) ???? blah blah blah. Not only this time but during any discussion addressing India/ Indian, we all would have heard derogatory comments like that.

Who are “Desis”. We normally refer this word for the Indian or sub-continent people. What are their so called “special” characteristic (Off course, in the eyes of other “Desis”?)………!!!  They are dishonest, no respect for time, give false promises, try to cheat for small gains, jealous ,  don’t help other “Desis”, dirty, no civic sense , they are hypocrites, sex deprived, don’t respect woman and this list goes on. “Desis” collectively do all the things which is amoral or not sophisticated. Surprisingly, these is the observation by the “Desis” for the “Desis” across the world.

Is it true? Being a large country, one can easily find examples which proves these derogatory remarks right that “Desis” will always be “Desis”. But it may be a wrong sampling. It may not represent all ”Desis”.  If one observer other race closely, we may come to the same conclusion. By and large human behaviour is same. Though external environment, historical events and survival situation has huge impact on human behaviour. What are they? What make “Desis” the “Desis”.

Population Density is the main factor amongst these factors. Statistically we are living in most dense condition. The world population is almost equally divided between four main races. White (22-24%), Black (22-24%), Brown or “Desis” (22-24%), Yellow or Asian (22-24%) and others (5-10%). However huge variance in population density amongst all. Brown or “Desis” which comprise 22% of the world population are living in 2.88% of land whilst white being 22% of world population living in 55% of land. These statistic shows highest “struggle for existence” among the “Desis” which make them different. This thing has huge impact on our behaviour.

Secondly, we were brutally attacked/ ruled by Muslims, Shuk, Hun, Kushan, Mongol and British for centuries which also has an impact on”Desi”.

Thirdly, India is mainly an agriculture nation for the centuries. Indian agriculture depends on uncertain monsoon. We, therefore, lived in a high vulnerability for centuries.

Apart from this, social taboos due to ancient civilization. Absent of social security system also has its own effect.

At last, Moral code and social scrutiny has much stronger impact on our mind than law & order. In some part of the India even today, Law & order doesn’t exist however people still refrain from doing wrong things because of unwritten social code of conduct. So many times I heard that “You belongs to good family, you should not do this”. I am sure you would have also heard something similar to this. These unwritten code of “Should and shouldn’t” saved our society from extreme chaos. But at the same time we all become moral police and start criticising other “Desis”.

Nonetheless, these adversities has given some excellent qualities in “Desis”. We are very flexible. Most of us respect elders and believe in family system. Always satisfied and happy. Adopt the culture in our own way. Patriotic Frenzy. We can laugh loudly on ourselves. And Food..!!. oh Excellent..!! I believe there are two types of food in this world. Indian food or bad food.

Best of above all is we are phoenix. We survived with dignity and pride for centuries.

कुछ बात है कि हस्ती मिटती नहीं हमारी
सदियों रहा है दुश्मन, दौर-ए-जहाँ हमारा

Proud to be “Desi”

Is spirituality a neo-escapism?

Since last few years, I am doing meditation and other spiritual practices like inquiry work, family constellation, enneagram and so on. I am not sure why I am doing this?  But I am enjoying it,

During my journey, I met so many meditators and seekers. Most of them are not happy with the life. I rarely met happy and joyful person. Nonetheless some people are exceptionally blessed and happy. By and large, I feel that spirituality is looser’s club.

Still I keep doing spiritual practice, mostly meditation and self-inquiry work. I had spent so much time and money doing all sorts of workshops. Why am I doing this? Is this an escapism?

I am trying to find the answer by writing this article. I welcome all comments & suggestions.

What is spirituality?

Dictionary Meaning: Spirituality is “relating human spirit or soul”. It is often misunderstood. It has a different meaning in different time. In contemporary time its broad meaning is quest for the answer of eternal questions “Who am I? “  Or “What is the meaning of life” or self-realisation.

In nutshell spirituality is:

  1. It is not religion
  2. No water tight boundaries like religion
  3. It is a quest for the fundamental questions “Who am I ” or “What is the meaning of life”
  4. Use of meditation and /or any other work to achieve these answers.
  5. Self-awareness is the central idea
  6. It is free from social agenda
  7. Flexible belief system around quest of self-realisation
  8. Not based on fear or greed
  9. Not based on price and punishment
  10. Natural than supernatural
  11. God is an not an authority but divinity to experience

It looks so good on paper whilst practising spirituality is confusion. I read plenty of books on spirituality by various masters. The common theme of all these schools of spirituality is “Reality is different than what it looks real to you”. It is absurd. It means you are not living in a real world.

All FAQ in spiritual work and its answers are full of confusion.

  1. Can I get enlightenment
    1. We promised enlightenment but it is impossible to achieve!!!
  2. Why can’t I get it?
    1. Because it is your fault. You don’t deserve it. You are not doing it right way
  3. How do I know I am progressing?
    1. You cannot know. You have to trust.
  4. What is enlightenment
    1. It can’t be explained but sacrifice everything for this.
  5. When can I get enlightenment
    1. May be this life. May be after many lives!!!!
  6. Are you enlightened?
    1. Yes
  7. How can I know?
    1. You cannot know.
  8. What is happiness?
    1. Happiness is the thing which you never experience in real world.
  9. But I am happy in real world
    1. That is not real happiness

And it goes on…………..

WTF is this. It is full of confusion. No one is giving right answer. Then why people practice it. Even I practice it too.

On the other hand escapism’s definition is “A tendency to seek distraction of real life”. Spirituality is providing this. According to psychology it is healthy necessity. So does spirituality is. In today’s world nothing is sensational. No surprise is surprise. Technology is progressing faster than human imagination. Therefore promise of impossible to achieve goal of “enlightenment” and mysterious so called “real” world sound exiting.

What do you think? Let us discuss.